My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
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