i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
