the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Randomize
