I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
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She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
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I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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