bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
