They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
