I want to walk on stilts...naked
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
