either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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