Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
