Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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