Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
