I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
