she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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