Having a random hookup so left but love u
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
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