She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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