4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
