Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
