from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
