i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
