Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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