I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
