12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
tell me about the eggs
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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