Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
