I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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