i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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