he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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