mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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