Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
