Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
