I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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