Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize