I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
