Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Randomize
