Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
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Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
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Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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