i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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