I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Randomize
