I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
