I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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