people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
