My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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