Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
