saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
