If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
