I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
