I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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