dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
not ubering you a puppy
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
