The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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