just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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