Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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