Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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