some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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