Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
