so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
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I have surprise drugs for everyone
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
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omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
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