Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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