i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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