so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
